15 July 2012

Is cosmetic surgery wrong?

As far as I can remember I have always hated my nose. I have wanted to have it done for ages but I am in two minds as to whether or not it is halal to do.

I know that a lot of people are going to think that I simply want to do it out of vanity (having such a vain blog and all..) but my nose has always been a source of great anxiety; it sounds awful but I am constantly wondering what people are thinking about it and what angle they are looking at it from, it drives me mad. I am obviously not going to post a picture of it but it is similar-ish (but worse) than Lea Michele's nose.


I think that she is really pretty but on me the nose is horrible. Being unlucky Arabs, both of my parents are nasally well-endowed and so I guess my fate was sealed when they married.. 

I was thinking of getting it done but I really don't know if it's the right thing to do. It's so embarrassing to ask people who know me in real life so I wanted to open the question to you guys. If someone is really unhappy with the appearance of their nose, should they just get it done?

56 comments:

Albie said...

Assalaamu alyaykum dear sis,

I think that it would be best to answer your question through scripture, so here's a hadith that is particularly applicable:

Ibn Mas'ud said, "Allah curses women who tattoo and are tattoed, women who pluck their eyebrows, and women who file their teeth to make gaps for beauty, altering Allah's creation!" A woman spoke to him about that and he said, "Why should I not curse those the Messenger of Allah, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, cursed when that is in the Book of Allah? Allah Almighty says, 'So take what the Messenger assigns to you, and deny yourselves that which he withholds from you.' (59:7)" [Agreed upon)

Sister, it really hurts me just thinking that you hate your nose so much you would like to change it. Obviously we all have insecurities but that really makes me sad to know that a sister of mine doesn't like a feature of herself so much that she would change it through a very painful and expensive procedure.

Allah (swt) forbid wearing false hair (even if one is diseased and wears it for the pleasure of a husband), he forbid tattoos, plucking the brows, and filing the teeth. These are all ways of "altering Allah's creation," "for beauty." If these are forbidden, what do you think would be the ruling on something as extreme and permanent and beauty-altering as plastic surgery?

I'm sure that you have already read this hadith, but I just wanted to bring it up again, because it seems particularly meaningful here.

Allah (swt) made you the way you are, beautiful in your own right, and you do not need to do anything to change. We all look different, and that's the beauty of being human, isn't it? We are all unique, subhan'Allah.

Try to embrace your differences and look at them as gifts that Allah (swt) endowed you with! I mean you have your sight, your hearing, and alhamdulillah Allah (swt) has blessed you in being a Muslim :).

Just focus on the good, and try to love yourself the way you are!

Hope I was of some help to you...

Ma'salaam,
Albie

Anonymous said...

Don't know what the rulings on this are - maybe you should check into it. My understanding with the no on tattoos is that they are a permanent alteration to God's creation - which rhinoplasty would be as well. On the personal level, I suppose if it is haunting you day and night and you can stand the pain and bandages and can afford it...The issue I always have is that people who have surgery to fix prominent features often have children with the same features and I've often wondered about the conversations around that (Mommy didn't think her nose was good enough, but we love you and think you're beautiful or Jackson family style, when you're old enough we'll get you a nose job, too) and then would your child be a nagging reminder of what you felt compelled to change? Like changing skin color, I also worry about buying into the norms of the dominant culture and ask questions like "Why isn't that kind of nose considered beautiful?" Why are the only beautiful noses the one's white Europeans tend to have? Maybe these comments are heavier than what you were looking for, but they all pop up for me in your question.

Zahra Jabir said...

Good question, I haven't ever read anything from the scholars, as I haven't really searched on it, but I think this falls under the category of altering Allah's creation. Like why we are warned not to do tattoos. I don't know, I will be looking forward to other sisters replies. :)

Anonymous said...

Salaam aleikom sis, I had surgery on my face when I was in my early teens since I had a congenital malformation. Only my eyes and forehead are the same. Before the surgery I had to have talks with two psychologists, they were to judge whether I was strong enough for surgery, since I would look very different. I wish everyone who is planning to undergo plastic surgery should talk to a psychologist first, because it is a serious decision, and many have poor self-image and do not really need surgery. I thought that everything would be fine and that I would get good self-esteem after the surgery, but I still find new things I don't like about myself. Even if you operate your nose you may find a new part you don't like. It is also serious in Islam because it changes something Allah has created, and it is a permanent change, so you may consider talking with a scholar. I hope it works out for you inshaAllah. I know it's tough not to be satisfied with your appearance. :)

KhAwLa said...

Assalamu Alaikum Sister,
I don't really know too much about it though i am a revert in Islam. But my husband use to tell me that doing plastic surgery because you want to make yourself more beautiful, because you are not satisfied with your looks, changing your appearance etc. are all HARAM.

http://www.central-mosque.com/fiqh/cosm.htm

Cosmetic and plastic surgery for the purpose of beautifying and adornment is impermissible. However, if there is a genuine need due to something being abnormal or deformed, then there is a dispensation of permissibility.

And Allah Knows Best

As-salaam alaikum said...

lol, I can't stop laughing.

I had a friend who was cross-eyed his whole life, and he told me that this made him very self-conscious when he'd be face-to-face with someone. But the thing is that neither I nor anyone else paid attention to his eyes.....his worries were all in his head, all the time. And I think u might be going through the same thing.

And a nose job would cost like $3,000-$5,000 out of pocket....u really wanna drop this kind of dough on ur nose??? lol.

Gail said...

Assalaam waliekum.

I say don't do it due to the fact that one never knows the aftermath of the surgery. Perfectly working nose now, after surgery, it's a Micheal Jackson scenario. Plus on this chick, I would not have noticed her nose (because she's wearing a flashy top, draws eyes to her boobs).

❤ αmαℓ said...

I say yes, if it reallly bothers you. But then again it's "haram", so it really brings the guilt trip on :-/

Anonymous said...

I think as long as you are confident you will be able to explain to Allah the reasons why you should go for it

va said...

I would say work with what you have and learn to embrace . It may take time . There are different ways of viewing yourself in the mirror but please never compare yourself to a celeb or model because they are usually photo shopped and make a living off their appearance . It is all a fantasy .
I would say take it one step at a time and learn to embrace your nose . I would say no to surgery because it takes away the natural you and more ..
If you need more advice plz contact me and I will try my best to help advise you inshallah !

Stylish Muslimah said...

va: Thank you that's so lovely of you! :)

Mynamemeansvictorious said...

We never know Allah's (SWT) plan. Below is a postby mufti menk :
Mufti Ismail Menk

Nobody is ever "ugly". We are all uniquely created, designed by the Almighty individually.

The Almighty has created us with different likes & dislikes, inclinations & disinclinations.

Every person, no matter what they look like, will always have someone who finds them attractive. So never think you are ugly.

Parents who call their children "ugly" even jokingly, cause untold suffering with long term negative effects upon them.

Even the Almighty does not look at our features or finances but looks at our hearts and deeds.

Thank the Almighty & remember that the truly beautiful are those with the best hearts & deeds. So purify your heart, be kind & do good deeds.

Stylish Muslimah said...

Mynamemeansvictorious: That's such a lovely comment, thank you :)

Panya said...

In my understanding, it is haram to alter your body in such a way. But everyone decides for themselves.

I wouldn't do it myself, but I have a story which might be similar... One of my front teeth was broken as a child and my dentist glued on a fake piece to make it look normal again. Over the years the fake piece has discolored and I was always extremely self-conscious about it, never wanting to smile or laugh, or sometimes even talk to people, because I was worried that they were looking at my tooth and thinking badly of me. I haven't thought of my tooth in that way in years, because now I'm more concerned about my hijab, clothing, and makeup -- whether it all looks okay, whether I'm covered properly, whether Muslims are judging me, whether non-Muslims are judging me, etc.

My point is, even if you "fix" your nose, your self-judgment and/or anxieties could just shift to something else. In my opinion, working on your self-esteem would be more beneficial in the longterm.

Muslim Mommy said...

As Salaamu Alaikum Sister!

You are very brave to admit you are having these feelings that many of us have about different features. I was/am struggling with my deformed after-two-babies-body! There are certain things that the gym won't fix if u know what I mean.

However, I have a friend who got rhioplasty, then implants, then rhinoplasty again and ims like she will never be happy! And this is the case with many paople. I think often times getting one surgury opens the floodgates to the notion of, "I am fixable", when there was nothing wrong with you im the first place! Can you imagine if you died of had somecomplication which caused you to suffer the rest of your life?

Then you must examine "Why?" What the 1st Anonomys sister said was great, "Why isn't that kind of nose considered beautiful? Why aren't the only beautiful noses the one's European's tend to have?"

As an African-American, I have seen this type of low self-image time and time again because of the influence of white superiority. Allah told us not to alter ouselves, but sisters are lacking so much confidence!

So anyway, I stopped obsessing about getting plastic surgery after looking at pictures of burn victims and reading their stories and seeing how confident they were. It made my little imperfections seem so insigificant. May Allah increase your confidence and increase all our deen so that we may overlook this things about ourselves! AMEEN

qatheworld said...

This is a question that is really worth pondering what is behind it, I think. First of all, I would very much hesitate to say it is haram to have plastic surgery on the basis of that hadith. It is clear that certain things mentioned in the hadith are haram, such as plucking the hair of the eyebrows and filing gaps into the teeth. HOWEVER, despite the fact that these things alter the appearance and are haram, not all things which alter the appearance are haram. Plucking the hairs of the armpit is a sunnah, and certainly many non-muslim women today do this for vanity and not becuase they think it is necessary for health or religion. Coloring the hair with hennah for beauty is also a sunnah. There are other examples of beautifying the appearance which are not haram or are even encouraged. Also, I don't think most people would draw a conclusion today about a dentist straightening their teeth (even if it did not present a significant health hazard) based on the hadith about filing the teetch. If a child was born with a congentital defect, such as a cleft palate (very common), would anyone consider it haram to correct this surgically? So I cannot say it is haram based on this analogy when there are obviously areas of altering the appearance, including for beauty alone, which are not haram, even though cosmetic surgery as it exists today was not an option at the time of the prophet.

qatheworld said...

The second issue is if it is the right thing to do in your case. Although I do not think in the general sense that it is wrong to change something that bothers you greatly, I would encourage you to think deeply about the reasons you want to do this. From what I have heard, cosmetic surgery does not necessarily solve the self-image problems that people have, and may even make them worse. There are also risks associated with the step. Here are some articles that might interest you, and I would encourage you to read others as well.

http://www.youbeauty.com/body-fitness/will-plastic-surgery-make-you-happier
http://extrahappiness.com/happiness/?p=3745
http://www.counsellingcenterchanges.com/cosmetic_surgery_addiction.php

Clearly the nose causes you a lot of anxiety. I wonder if this has more to do with you than your actual nose? In fact, none of us could judge by looking at your real nose if this was the right thing to do, I suspect it is more in your mentality than in your physique. I say this as someone with a nose which has often been mocked by others as being bulbous, unattractive, and potato-like :P. I'm not going to pretend such comments don't bother me, but also they don't cause me the same level of anxiety at this time in my life as your situation does, regardless of what our noses actually look like to ourselves. I've also realized as time has gone by that I feel very differently about imperfections in my body depending on how I feel about life in general and the quality of my relationships with other people.

If your nose was changed, do you think this would make you happier?
How would you feel if people did not recognize you after your nose job? I have had friends who had even minor facial surgery for other reasons who found that the distress of being unrecognizeable even after minor changes was very trying.
How will you feel after the nose is changed when everyone who knew you before will be able to tell you had a nose job? Will this make you even more self-concious? What if the nose doesnt come out how you expected?
If someone you didn't know before compliments you on your nose, will you feel dishonest accepting this? Will you feel obliged to mention the job or ashamed not to mention it? Will this make you feel worse?
What if someone tells you they liked your old nose better and it was a shame to change it? How much are your feeling about your nose influenced by feedback about your appearance (or lack of it) from other people? One time I remember I was moaning about my nose and my friend (who was also complaining about things in her appearance) told me she thought I had a great nose, and she wished hers was like that instead of small and stubby! This was probably the only positive comment I ever received about my nose, but it had quite an impact in terms of thinking about different perspectives.

I also want to ask if you have ever read/seen my favorite play, Cyrano de Bergerac. I love this play and the character, who has an outrageously enormous nose, which makes him think he will never win the girl he loves. He is a heroic, dashing character with a biting wit (especially about his nose). I don't know if it's because of my own nose that I love it, but it is a very good story. There is also a modern and different take on the story as a comedy called "Roxanne" which is very funny too :).

Anonymous said...

Bismllah

Assalaam u aleikum wa RAhmatoullahi wa Barakathu,

Sweet sister fi deen, this post is more stylish then muslimah.
You are acting like a slave of shaytaan instead of Allah Soubhaana wa Ta3la.
And ive seen earlier posts of you in which u tell us hadeeth and quote qor'aan.
Now THAT is nice. And mixing it off with a little dunya is not bad in my opinion, after all we are girls as well as muslimas.
But saying u know it is haraam but that doesnt stop you... When u know the prophet Sallalahu walayhi wassalaam said he hates women that pluck they're eyebrows and u dont care?
Fear Allah TA3la and follow the sunnah.


I used to love reading your blog but this post made me decide to unscribe.

I do wish u all the best inshaAllah and hope the blessed month of Ramadaan will help u to change your vision about this.

Love

Khadija umm Aylioun

LK said...

This is one I ask people that usually makes them think pretty hard.

Have you ever had surgery?

9 times out of 10 people wanting plastic surgery haven't actually had a necessary surgical procedure. And for rhinoplasty the pain is excruciating. Plus recovery takes forever. There is usually a lot of bruising and swelling because they have to break your bone to reset it in the position you desire. And sometimes reshape.

I know its cringe worthy but its worth thinking about. Do you willingly want to bare that much pain for a procedure that is not necessary for your health? Having had major surgery I'd never elect to have cosmetic. Not worth it. However, if there is a health issue then you may want to do it. It is also very expensive out of pocket.

Anonymous said...

Salaams Sister,

I know as women we all have some level of insecurity about our looks. When these insecurities creep up, the best place to look for answers is the Glorious Quran.

Allah says in Surah Al-Infitaar: 6. O man! What has made you careless concerning your Lord, the Most Generous?

7. Who created you, fashioned you perfectly, and gave you due proportion;

8. In whatever form He willed, He put you together.

My dear sister ask yourself this, if Allah asks you on the day of judgement why you changed your nose. How will you explain that you thought what He had created was not good enough for you?

How sure are you that you will be happy with your nose after it's done, your taste might change as you get older.

From personal experience I have done some pretty crazy colours and styles with my hair and at the time I thought it looked awesome. But now I cringe every time I look at the photos. Luckily hair grows, otherwise I would be sleeping with my hijab lol.

I remember a friend once saying "It's funny how when you compliment a woman on her looks she says thank you, like she had anything to do with how she was created" We are a product of what Allah has willed. That automatically makes us special.

I really hope that you will decide to let go of the idea of plastic surgery. Put your trust in Allah and know that He created that nose for a reason. You may find that what you once thought was unattractive is actually a great blessing.

May Allah grant you goodness in this world and in the hereafter and make you content and happy with whatever He has decreed for you Insha Allah.

With lots of love

Your Sister

A. Zahra said...

I think you should just post the question to the marj'a you follow. My instinctual answer would be, no. But then alhamdulillah i don't have a nose problem so i don't know what it must be like for you.

LOL im sorry if i sound impolite. I honestly mean to be only polite :)
Wish you luck.

Jules said...

I really can sympathise. I have spent 20 years really hating my nose..until I came to realise that oddly enough, it comes with a family history. I have the same bumpy nose as my grandmother, indeed - it even has some religious significance, being a typical 'jewish' nose, (as a revert, how was my nose to know!!), and the kink to the side is where I bumped it as a kid. I may wish for a straight nose, but when I look at old family photos, and you see the same features cropping up again and again, you eventually learn to accept, and dare I say it, treasure your 'faults', as much as you love your 'good bits'.

Señorita Andalucíana said...

I found this on a very inspirational website:

"The mask. – No matter what age, race, sex, or sexuality you are, underneath all your external decorations you are a pure, beautiful being – each and every one of us are. We each have light to shine, and missions to accomplish. Celebrate being different, off the beaten path, a little on the weird side, your own special creation. If you find yourself feeling like a fish out of water, by all means find a new river to swim in. But DO NOT change who you are; BE who you are." (Marc & Angel Hack Life Blog)

My Mother always said that plastic surgery was bad because then God wouldn't recognize you when you met him. I think it's a personal choice but I think when you own it, the only thing to see is beauty.

Stylish Muslimah said...

Thanks everyone for their comments, they really got me thinking :)

Salam x

Opakunle Shade said...

Salam.
I am a 22 yrs old muslimah and I have virtually no breast. It's disturbing but I have never tought about surgery because I think it's haram, painful, expensive and simply extreme. I think this is more serious than nose structure but all the same, bottom line is work on your general well being starting by appreciating what you think is good about you and dont jeopardise your relationship with Allah over such issue. My mum has equally small breasts but peaceful family and nourished 3 healthy children- that is satisfying enough. I imagine that nose on all faces I could think of and I see beautiful faces. Be happy- you are a beautiful MUSLIMAH

Opakunle Shade said...

Salam.
I am a 22 yrs old muslimah and I have virtually no breast. It's disturbing but I have never tought about surgery because I think it's haram, painful, expensive and simply extreme. I think this is more serious than nose structure but all the same, bottom line is work on your general well being starting by appreciating what you think is good about you and dont jeopardise your relationship with Allah over such issue. My mum has equally small breasts but peaceful family and nourished 3 healthy children- that is satisfying enough. I imagine that nose on all faces I could think of and I see beautiful faces. Be happy- you are a beautiful MUSLIMAH

Decisions, decisions said...

Speak to someone who is a scholar in Islam and Medicine.

All too often people are unable to interpret what is permissible and what is haraam when it comes to science and health.

In Islam, there is a place for surgical correction if one looks at the intention of the individual and the desired outcome.

I'm a doctor - if a patient came to me with a severe disfigurement that would psychologically prevent them from developing any sense of self worth, that may potentially in their mind prevent them from being happy, prevent them from finding a suitable spouse, that may cause them to be the topic of discussion and gossip in their community, etc, etc, (you get the drift?) - Well, then I'd refer them to the appropriate psychologists and plastic surgeons for consultation. Note that I said the APPROPRIATE psychologist and plastic surgeon, i.e. someone who won't be a cowboy and be quick to say "let's get on with it and alter your face/body."

On the other hand, if I get a patient without any disfigurement, who wants change a part of their body or face to look more appealing and says "I want to have pretty eyes like so and so ...", well, I'd advise them that surgery is most likely not the appropriate procedure BUT I'd still refer them to an appropriate psychologist and plastic surgeon.

Because my job is to inform and to make sure that I advise objectively as possible and to not make the final decision for the patient.

The patient is ultimately responsible for their final decision.

So, back to your question! Should you get a nose job?

Your decision. You are responsible.

But get information and advise from appropriate sources, both Islamically and from a good doctor, before deciding on whether it is right or wrong.

And here's something else to think about.

A lot of us Muslimahs may not consider having plastic surgery BUT how many of us don't love to dress up, wear the latest fashions, change our hijabs, put on make-up?

We all do it to beautify ourselves - so, the question is, what is the final intention of "beautifying" ourselves?

To attract the opposite sex?

To look tidy and presentable and not a slob?

To have a bit of personality?

To feel a bit more confident and to feel good about oneself?

To please one's husband?

The reasons are multiple!

To beautify oneself does not always equal to vanity or arrogance.

When we dress each day, we know our intentions as to why we want to look the way we do.

So likewise, understand your intention for why you wish to change a body part's appearance.

And try find a nice wise doctor if possible who can advise you appropriately and combine it with correct Islamic information.

Inshallah I hope you decide what is best for you and are happy.

Isn't it good that Ramadaan is around the corner. perhaps it'll help you figure out what you want? :)

Decisions, decisions said...

Speak to someone who is a scholar in Islam and Medicine.

All too often people are unable to interpret what is permissible and what is haraam when it comes to science and health.

In Islam, there is a place for surgical correction if one looks at the intention of the individual and the desired outcome.

I'm a doctor - if a patient came to me with a severe disfigurement that would psychologically prevent them from developing any sense of self worth, that may potentially in their mind prevent them from being happy, prevent them from finding a suitable spouse, that may cause them to be the topic of discussion and gossip in their community, etc, etc, (you get the drift?) - Well, then I'd refer them to the appropriate psychologists and plastic surgeons for consultation. Note that I said the APPROPRIATE psychologist and plastic surgeon, i.e. someone who won't be a cowboy and be quick to say "let's get on with it and alter your face/body."

On the other hand, if I get a patient without any disfigurement, who wants change a part of their body or face to look more appealing and says "I want to have pretty eyes like so and so ...", well, I'd advise them that surgery is most likely not the appropriate procedure BUT I'd still refer them to an appropriate psychologist and plastic surgeon.

Because my job is to inform and to make sure that I advise objectively as possible and to not make the final decision for the patient.

The patient is ultimately responsible for their final decision.

So, back to your question! Should you get a nose job?

Your decision. You are responsible.

But get information and advise from appropriate sources, both Islamically and from a good doctor, before deciding on whether it is right or wrong.

And here's something else to think about.

A lot of us Muslimahs may not consider having plastic surgery BUT how many of us don't love to dress up, wear the latest fashions, change our hijabs, put on make-up?

We all do it to beautify ourselves - so, the question is, what is the final intention of "beautifying" ourselves?

To attract the opposite sex?

To look tidy and presentable and not a slob?

To have a bit of personality?

To feel a bit more confident and to feel good about oneself?

To please one's husband?

The reasons are multiple!

To beautify oneself does not always equal to vanity or arrogance.

When we dress each day, we know our intentions as to why we want to look the way we do.

So likewise, understand your intention for why you wish to change a body part's appearance.

And try find a nice wise doctor if possible who can advise you appropriately and combine it with correct Islamic information.

Inshallah I hope you decide what is best for you and are happy.

Isn't it good that Ramadaan is around the corner. perhaps it'll help you figure out what you want? :)

Nafeesa said...

Dear Sister,
In my opinion, we should all be grateful to Allah for what we are. Just think of other people who have real malformations. We are not perfect. No one is. I had lots of pimples when I was a teenager, Alhamdolellah now all are gone but still have scars. You do not have to bother about what other will say. You should like yourself they way Allah made you and have self confidence.

Regards

Duchess Berry said...

Assalamualaikum sis,

interesting topic here. it is all up to your niyat "intentions' if it is solely for the purpose of health (if you didn't do it will cause you your life) then it is permitted. but if it is for the purpose of beauty or unacceptable by yourself, then you cannot alter anything what Allah has gv you. Wallahualam.

Please support my muslimah blog. Lets support each other.

http://duchessberry.blogspot.com

Anonymous said...

Salam everyone. Just want to ask, is belly piercing haram?
Plz answer thanks
Mariam

Anonymous said...

For years, I have been pressured by my community to start wearing a hijab. I always promised myself that whichever decision I would make it would be for the sake of Allah and not others. I am 23 years of age and have always tried to lower my gaze. I went to school got my university degree, studied abroad, do voluntary work and always try to help other. But I don't brag about my accomplishment as I do that for me and not for anyone else. I do not concern myself with other's way of life as that is a private matter. But everyday Muslim men and woman when they see me, they comment on why I do not wear a hijab. I have to add that I try not to wear tight clothes or even heels but they judge right in from of me and go to mother and complain that her daughter is not wearing a hijab. The pressure on my mum has become noticeable as in the last two years she is been asking frequently as why I do not wear a hijab. I know that in Islam if you see a fellow brother or sisters doing something wrong, you should politely and respectfully address it. If I start wearing a hijab would that make me better person, is there a reward of punishment to those wearing and not wearing a hijab? I believe that Islam is more than a hijab (in a women's perspective)! I try my best, I really do and so often I ask Allah to help because everything I do will never be good enough, If I don't wear a hijab. So, sisters and brothers tell what should I do?

Midheta Agic said...

This blog is great. I do not wear hijab, but I am Muslim and I really do like it. !
Do you want to follow each other ?

xoxo

Rayan said...

I would say don't do it. Firstly, why be displeased with yourself? Ideas of 'beauty' are human...for example I, a girl, was raised with very little exposure to pop culture and beauty ideals, and thus I usually find ALL women ( like Lea) quite beautiful, without having 'ideal' features, whereas others always find something to nitpick! The others above have said wise words in this subject.

Also, you said that you think it's haram. Have you stopped to think of what the impact of doing something, believed by most to be haram, would be on you? It's not exactly hidden, everyone would know that you had changed your nose and you'd have to deal with the subsequent judging of you by others throughout your life. What if you regretted it? There would be no going back, there your mistake would be literally staring you in the face every morning!

I believe it's better for you not to change it. I think you're a lovely girl inside and out. :)

Stylish Muslimah said...

Mariam: Um, I don't think so, you might want to look into that though!

Anonymous: Hmm, difficult situation there. I feel like I should not give you any advice right now because of my own issues with the subject at the moment but I highly recommend that you read into why Muslim women wear the hijab and why it is that you do not want to wear it. Good luck and let me know how it goes. Also, if you would like me to publish your question as a blog post so other people can advise you I would be happy to do so.

Rayan: That is such a lovely comment, thank you :)

Umm Ibrahim: Thanks for the comment, it really made me smile :) The only reason I have not published it is because you are one of the only people who know where I am from and I want to keep it that way xD

Salam x

Salwa Muslimah Solace said...

I agree with the first commenter,

I go with Islamic stance, seeing as we muslims believe Islam is a complete way of life. that encompasses beauty too. Islam gives us guidelines on everything not just how to wroship Allah but how to act, dress and behave in all aspects of life.

I think changing the creation of Allah is forbidden. Of course in islam there are exceptions life saving surgery. have cosmetics done for burns victims etc who need their face to be altered so they can live a normal life.

Plus its a waste of money and islam also forbidden. if i have £2000 to throw away is it not better to give that to charity/sadaqa.

This life is temporary and so is your nose, In Jannah you will be fashioned in the best of wways, perfect and have what ever you wish. So really can you wait another 20-30-40 years? to have eternity of beauty and bliss. is it worth risking jannah for?

I felt the same about my nose, it sort of leans slightly more to one side. Was a huge thing for me as a kid and teenager. Now i matured and focus on my deen it really was a stupid thing to worry about and i think a little vein. Its vanity at its worst really.

Most people have it done and thats it, no going back and they regret it..thats non muslims imagine how you would feel as a muslim after doing this. Something you can not hide everyone will know about it. So it will be a huge shame for yourself.

You need to accept the skin you are in. The sooner you come to terms with that the happyer you will be. Inshallah khier.

wasalam -x-

Anonymous said...

anon here - I would advice you not to because it is haram, as simple as that. I too have a lot of things I prefer it a lil bit different, then I remember that there are people who have far more worse case than I am, it will teach us to get snobby towards God, and teach us to be ungrateful, :)

Anonymous said...

Hi!

First of all, I really like your blog and your honestness and courage to address topics that might lead to negative comments :)

Hm, about your question: I am not Muslim, so I don't know if it is haraam or not. But I had/have a similar problem: Like one of the girls above, I have also virtually no breasts. Generally, I would not describe myself as very much concerned about fashion, make-up etc (although of course I want to look "nice" and pretty), but my breasts were a real issue and for several years I did a lot of research on surgery and wondered if I should get them done or not.

But to cut a long story short: I never did, but MUCH more important: Somehow I learnt to live with it and now they are really ok for me... and some years ago I couldn't imagine EVER feeling ok about them. And actually I think you are just in that age where I was seriously thinking about surgery, too... so my advice would be, hard as it is: Wait for a few years, and if this desire to have a different nose never goes away, then see a doctor about it. But I really think that you will learn to live with it and that you will be very happy in some years if you do not let anyone change it now!

I mean, i don't want to promise miracles: Sometimes I still see my reflection somewhere and think how much better it would be if I had larger breasts. But I don't lose sleep over it any more. And I am certain that it feels much better to have accepted ones own body than to have changed it. And as the others said, I also think that the nose might not be the end. If I had had my breasts changed, I am pretty sure that I might have thought about other body parts as well.

Anyway, I wish you all the best and that your decision will make you happy! But always remember, you don't HAVE TO decide now, you can always wait how you will feel about it in, say, a year from now. After all that change will stay for the rest of your life. And maybe in a year from now, you will be worrying about completely different things anyway...

Cheers
Hannah

Stylish Muslimah said...

Hannah: Thanks that's some really good advice :) I think I am going to wait for now and see how it goes. I cannot see myself ever liking my nose but the prospect of surgery freaks me out so I'm going to put it on hold for now.
Thanks again x

Anonymous said...

Salaam sister,
you honesty actually shocked me, I guess it's all about living a different lifestyle.

I was ungrateful for a lot of things about my self, physically, and I really thinking about changing them most of my time, but I always remember my sister used to said "will it bring you closer towards God?" then I will forcefully tel myself that "of course, because, I will be more grateful, more confidence, and whatsoever" and then I came across the saying from Prophet(pbuh) "The life of this world compared to the hereafter is as if one of you were to put his finger in the ocean and take it out again then compare the water that remains on his finger to the water that remains in the ocean" if world can make me want something sooo bad, then, the hereafter will make it like, what, 1 trillion better? LOL.if I choose right in this world. Maybe you're getting tired with all this religious-kind of answer, but since u are a muslim, it is my duty to remind my sister of what I knew, even if you are non-muslim, I would still advice you not to. If you really want it so bad you could die, ask from Allah, inshaAllah, He knows what best.

LOVE
NooR JoAz

Anonymous said...

oh wow, I am happy if that has helped :)

Cheers
Hannah

Anonymous said...

Some things to think about..
-What if you die during surgery..could happen?
-Think of others less fortunate then u..some women have had their entire face burnt off from acid attacks and they can only wish to have a nose..
At the end of the day your reasons are vanity..you don't like the way you look that is vanity...if you worry so much about what ppl think..what happens when u worry so much about what ppl think about ure hijab?? will u take it off? ..think about things not so much from a shallow point of view..
i don't get why one sister told u to go for it..then she said ..but its haram? umm yeah it is..why are u even considering doing that..like i said ..what would happen if u died during surgery..or got a staff infection of you still dont like ure nose post surgery..all things to consider.

Firdaus said...

Reading through your post was like you were writing from my heart,being an african,my insecurity has always been my nose, sub-conciously i always think all people see on my face is just a huge nose and so many times i'v thought about getting it done but at the same time i end up discouraging myself because its haram.. and everyone says am beautiful with what i think on my face is huge, so people see more than the nose and Allah sees the heart.

And really, we shoudnt even be thinking about it ecause i'v seen people like voldermout, without a nose that is... May Allah guide u and give us the ability to accept what we cannot change,amen.

Stay blessed

Firdaus said...

Reading through your post was like you were writing from my heart,being an african,my insecurity has always been my nose, sub-conciously i always think all people see on my face is just a huge nose and so many times i'v thought about getting it done but at the same time i end up discouraging myself because its haram.. and everyone says am beautiful with what i think on my face is huge, so people see more than the nose and Allah sees the heart.

And really, we shoudnt even be thinking about it ecause i'v seen people like voldermout, without a nose that is... May Allah guide u and give us the ability to accept what we cannot change,amen.

Stay blessed

cosmetic surgery said...

Ahmad
Can we say that anyone who undergoes a cosmetic surgery just to make himself look better is non-selfconfident?

Anonymous said...

Your God must have created you imperfect. Now you feel ugly about your nose. No matter how stylish you are, remember you have a terrible ugly nose. :) so you can never be beautiful

Stylish Muslimah said...

Anonymous: I'd take an ugly nose over a bitter personality any day of the week buddy :)

Anonymous said...

In my personal opinion I think there's a line where cosmetic surgery becomes haram. Dont quote me on that though, im not a scholar im just someone who has been in your position. i think it becomes haram when you want to change every single feature on your face/body. I think that sort of thinking is destructive and unhealthy. I had a large hump on my nose, compared to the rest of my face it stood out like a sore thumb, it made me look older and I lost all confidence I had. I didn't want to look like anyone else,or fit in with "western" society. I just wanted my nose to fit in with the rest of my face. I researched rhinoplasty for years so I had an idea on what to expect- and that is, its not going to fix your problems or change your life. A nose job simply gives you more confidence and lets you get on with your daily life without having that worry about who is looking at your nose. I was hit by a car and that involved breaking my nose and bruising up the rest of my face, so I think that was a reason for me to get it done. In terms of pain, its not excruciating at all, like some others have said. You just feel like you've been punched in the face for a few hours then it wears off. The recovery is 2 weeks where there is no bruising. but the swelling decreases everyday and that takes around 6 months to a year were its fully healed. I don't want to misguide, that really isnt my intention. But as a young child when people are constantly telling you you have a big nose, it really stops you from developing in certain aspects. For me i was too shy and couldnt build friendships properly. It sounds crazy but what do you expect from a young person? Anyway inshallah you make the right & halal choice, and Allah knows best. Hope everything works out for you :)

Stylish Muslimah said...

Anon: Thanks that was a really useful comment! I'm glad that it turned out well for you :) Where did you get it done by the way? Salam!

Anonymous said...

im blessed with an arab nose too lol, growing up its something ive been teased about and always felt self conscious bout it too since i was like 15 (and im 23 now). last year i saw 3 top plastic surgeons in my city too i was seriously considering going under the knife... but chickened out! too much risk (eg infection, need for repeat surgery at least 10% of cases i hear, risk of permanent loss of smell, nose feels numb after a while etc) for such minimal results... im still gonna have a big nose, they were just gonna straighten out the slight bump i have and they all wanted to 'pinch' the tip of my nose to give it a more refined look... but i dont wanna end up looking like the celebretites on arab tv so unnatural!! tho im glad i saw the drs at least i have a bit more peace of mind now... they show u the before and after shots with computer simulation, and i was shocked 'is that all?' i said to the dr 'i dont actually look as bad as i thought now'. and 2 out of the 3 plastic surgeons try to 'upsell' you... so that ur never happy with urself like get cheeks done for a more european look, also a chin implant to add greater balance to ur face... i was happy with everything but my nose i dont need all ur add-ons thanks!!

so for now, i think i wont do it. plus seriously guilty conscience... i remember saying to my GP whose not muslim 'im thinking of getting a nose job, but feel guilty as its changing what God created' she goes to me 'but God also created doctors and the technology to change it, so whats wrong with that?[ lol

but what will i say to Allah on Day of Judgement, sorry you didnt make me beautiful enough ur creation is not good enough? spending 10000 bux on vanity. what if i died during the procedure? what if i later became more religious and regretted it... you cant go back unless u add some prosthetic lol. how will people in the community and future husband (as doing a nose job is obvious for all to see, and isnt something u hsould hide wen u get married)see me- insecure/low self esteem?

so its entirely up to you, but this is from my own experience... i hope whatever u decide to do is something you'll be content with:)

salams

Stylish Muslimah said...

Thanks man, that was an interesting read. I still want to get it done but something is holding me back :/
Salam

Anonymous said...

Salaam Stylish Muslimah

Just wanted to know fo you had the surgery done i think i knwo how you feel exaclty the same boat

StylishMuslimah said...

Anon: I still haven't fully made my mind up to be honest. I don't want to do something haram, and a lot of people say unnecessary cosmetic surgery is. I still hate my nose though!

Salam x

Anonymous said...

Hello stylish muslimah..I was reading your post, and was also wondering..did you get the nose job or not? I've been reading so many blogs lately as I've been feeling a little the way you did when you posted this..just curious to know what your final decision was :)

Touareg Netvor said...

Hello. I am focused both on cosmetic surgery and muslim world. This blog, or in fact comments, are the best about these two topics I have ever read. Thank you all for your thoughts, oponions, experiences etc. It show me a lot.

Sandy Parker said...

Thanks for sharing your thoughts about cosmetic surgery. There are lots issue about this good and bad but it depends to you how to handle it.