A Must Read

I apologise for my extended absense, I have had a lot going on recently. I having also been feeling at a bit of a loss these past few months; life has a habit of turning on you quite suddenly, when you least expect it. I have found that when things happen, they happen all at once, like a domino effect. That's life I guess.

Anyway, I thought I would return with a book recommendation. I started reading this book recently and so far it is THE best book I have ever read. I'm sure a lot of you have heard of it already - "Don't Be Sad" by Aaidh ibn Abdullah al-Qarni, yes not the most imaginative of titles but that is because the translation into Arabic (which this book was originally written in) sounds much better.

Even in the English translation the book is extremely readable, eloquent and meaningful. I highly recommend it to Muslims and non-Muslims alike, whether or not you are going through a difficult time in your life. 

I have not yet completed the book but there is one part that has really stuck in my mind which I would like to share with you. It is about why you should never expect gratitude from people to whom you have done something good. Here is the extract:

"Allah, the Almighty, created His slaves so that they may worship and remember Him, and He provided sustenance for them so that they may be grateful to Him. Nevertheless, many have worshipped other than Him and the masses are thankful not to Him, but to others, because the characteristic of ingratitude is widespread among human beings. So do not be dismayed when you find that others forget your favours or disregard your kind acts. Some people might even despise you and make you an enemy for no other reason than that you have shown them kindness.

And they could not find any cause to bear a grudge, except that Allah and His Messenger had enriched them of His Bounty.

(Quran 9:74)

From among the ever-repeating pages of history is a story of a father and his son: the former raised him, fed him, clothed him and taught him; he would stay up nights so that his son could sleep, stay hungry so that his son could eat, and he would toil so that his son could feel comfort. And when the son became older and stronger, he rewarded his father with disobedience, disrespect, and contempt.

So be at peace if you are requited with ungratefulness for the good you have done. Rejoice in your knowledge that you will be rewarded from the One who has unlimited treasures at His disposal.

This is not to say that you should refrain from performing acts of kindness towards others: the point is that you should be mentally prepared for ingratitude.

Perform acts of charity seeking Allah's pleasure, because with this attitude you will assuredly be successful. The ungrateful person cannot really harm you: praise Allah that that person is the transgressor and that you are the obedient servant. Also, remember that the hand that gives is better than the hand that receives.

(We feed you seeking Allah's Countenance only. We wish for no reward, nor thanks from you.)

(Quran 76:9)

Many people are shocked at the nature of ingratitude in others, as though they had never come across this verse and others like it:

And when harm touches man, he invokes us, lying down on his side, or sitting or standing. But when we have removed his harm from him, he passes on his way as K he had never invoked Us for a harm that touched him.

(Quran 10:12)

Hence do not be in a state of agitation if you give someone a pen as a gift and he uses it to satirise you, or if you give someone a walking stick to lean upon and he strikes you with it. As I pointed out earlier, most human beings are ungrateful to their Lord, so what treatment should you and I expect?"

You can buy this book new from Amazon for around £15 or you can download it for free from many different websites like www.kalamullah.com/books.html.

If you choose to read it I hope that you enjoy it as much as I have and that you find comfort in it's message.

A Christian Hijabi Goth

Source

Never thought I'd write those words in the same sentence.. Actually, when I thought I'd seen it all in the hijab world I came across this very interesting video about a Christian goth explaining why she wears the hijab.

Well that's me subscribed! Check out her other videos here.

Understanding Predestination & Free Will

Believing in predestination (qadar) and free will is one of the six articles of faith and possibly the concept that our fallible brains find the most difficult to understand.  Here is a pretty good explanation of how qadar and free will work together:

Uploaded by YouTuber khalifahklothing

I have found that the best way to understand this subject is to make sure you fully understand some basic Islamic concepts:

1. Your existence is to worship Allah (SWT), no more no less.

2. What differs you from animals and angels is your right to choose to worship Allah (SWT), or not.

3. Without Allah's Will, your right to choose would not and cannot exisit.

4. You are given the choice because Allah (SWT) willed for you to have it and He willed for you to have it because He decreed for the creation of a being who has the ability to freely accept or reject it's Creator. Angels accept their creator through knowledge but do not do so freely and have no animalistic desires to fight against. Animals have no higher levels of knowledge or logic but worship Allah (SWT) innately without choice and without being required to fight their animalistic desires. Only man and jinn have been given BOTH logic and desires. We have a God-given right to choose which one we follow.

5. In this life, we choose and Allah (SWT) allows our choice to come about. He knows what choices we will make and He allows us to make them. In short, we actively and freely MAKE our choices in life based on our desires and intentions, by which we will be judged.

6. Allah (SWT) loves those who choose to do good and worship Him and Him alone - some people use this for the argument "if God wants us to do good why couldn't He just make us do good and why is there evil in the world?" The answer is simple: Allah (SWT) has created angels who do nothing BUT worship Him. The purpose of our creation is to choose to worship Allah (SWT) and do good deeds, but how can you choose to do good without first rejecting the opposite, evil? Without evil there would BE no good because "good" would just be the norm and if good was the norm, there would be no choice at all i.e. we would be angels.

I hope that this sort of helps if you were having difficulties understanding this concept. If anyone has any useful information about this subject please post it in the comments.

Statement Scarf*

I have always thought that the "rule" of having to have a "statement" piece in your outfit to make it work is generally not true. Outfits can look good with no statement pieces in them at all. Anyway, that's besides the point because the following look does contain a statement item - the scarf. Wearing a statement scarf is something I have not been keen on doing recently but if you dress it with simple clothes it can look really nice and not too try-hard. 

Aztec Scarf by stylishmuslimah

*A "statement scarf" is not necessarily a scarf that's sparkly/shiny/glittery/tassely/mirrored.. that's just a social-suicide scarf.

Apparently Arab Mums Are All The Same

This is sooo true xD

Video by YouTuber fouseyTUBE

Pink & Gold

An unmistakably beautiful combination. I absolutely love the look in this photo so I obviously had to copy it instead of doing microbiology (bleuurrghh..) :P

Pink & Gold by stylishmuslimah

Chiffon gown, $118; Clutch hand bag, $19; 18 karat gold jewelry, $45; Debut, £18; Yves Saint Laurent Eye Pencil -8: Amber Brown, $28; Madden Girl Cleary, $40

Avoiding Zina Of The Heart

I have had many discussions with Muslims about whether or not having a crush is haram, and have heard all sorts of opinions. But I think we can safely say that it is not haram since you have little control over your feelings; what you do about it on the other hand, may well be...

.

Abu Hurayah reported that Allah's Messenger (S) said:
.

"A son of Adam's share of zina has been predestined for him, and he will inevitably fulfill that. Thus the eyes commit zina by looking, the ears commit zina by listening, the tongue commits zina by speaking, the mouth commits zina by kissing, the hands commits zina by acting (or touching) the foot commits zina by walking (toward the sin) the soul wishes and desires and the private part confirms all of that"

[Bukhari and Muslim]

According to this hadith, zina, to some extent is inevitable for man. Islam has told us that the best way to control zina of the heart is to lower the gaze.. prevention being better than cure and all that..

 

"Tell the believing men to lower their gaze (from looking at forbidden things), and protect their private parts (from illegal sexual acts, etc.). That is purer for them. Verily, Allah is All-Aware of what they do.

And tell the believing women to lower their gaze (from looking at forbidden things), and protect their private parts (from illegal sexual acts, etc).

[Qur'aan, 24: 30-31]

Simple problem, simple solution. But who really does it?

Meow ^-^

Smart Hijab Style

 

Here's a smart outfit idea for you. It can also easily be worn causally with jeans or with the right change of accessories.

 

 

Smart Dressing by stylishmuslimah

The Gamboo3a: Love it or Shove it?

I shan't be diplomatic about this.. I hate them. I literally can't stand those tacky flower clips that hijabis seem to have gone crazy over.

Besides making it look like you have a really abnormal body fat distribution, the thing which I really don't get about the gamboo3a is that it is fairly pointless whichever way you choose to look at it. I mean I presume that women are wearing them in order to tell people - men in particular - that they have masses of luscious hair underneath their scarves. But nobody in their right mind thinks it's hair and men don't find it attractive. They find it weird, like everybody else.

I have never seen a girl make a gamboo3a look good, and I have seen many hijabis use them. It just makes them look 1. really disproportionate and 2. like they are begging for attention, because I for one notice the abnormally huge bun before anything else.

I am not going to get into a religious "Camel hump" debate about this, I personally wouldn't sit hear calling it haram, because by saying that you are basically stating that it is a punishable act. I really don't know about that.  

Perhaps I am totally wrong and behind the times and maybe I have completely lost touch with what it means to be stylish and the gamboo3a is actually a fashion breakthrough. And maybe electric cars will actually catch on and Saudi Arabia will make it to the cup final. Maybe.

Idle Words

"It is better to sit alone than in bad company; and it is better still to sit with the good than alone. It is better to speak to a seeker of knowledge than to remain silent; but silence is better than idle words."

Prophet Muhammed (S) - [Bukhari]

Happy Eid - Eid Sa'eed - Eid Mubarek

...I didn't know which one to put.
 

I hope that everybody's Hajj was accepted and that we can all go next year insha'Allah :)

Enjoy your day!

Source

Chiffon Dress

An autumn/winter outfit idea from yours truly :) I really like the dress but would give the belt a miss to keep it loose.

Every item is under $50.

Aztec by stylishmuslimah

"If you guarantee me 6 things I shall guarantee you Paradise: Speak the truth when you talk, keep a promise when you make it, when you are trusted with something fulfill your trust, avoid sexual immorality, lower your gaze (in modesty) & restrain your hands from commiting injustice." - The Prophet Muhammed (S) [Al Tirmidhi, Hadith 1260]

Arguing In Islam

Source

The Prophet (S) said:

"Do you know what is better than charity and fasting and prayer? It is keeping peace and good relations between people, as quarrels and bad feelings destroy mankind."

[Narrated by Muslim and Bukhari]

“I guarantee a house in the outskirts of Jannah (Paradise) for one who gives up arguing, even if he is in the right; and I guarantee a house in the middle of Jannah for one who abandons lying even when joking or for the sake of fun; and I guarantee a house in the highest part of Jannah for one who has good manners.”

[Narrated by Imam Abu Dawud]

When I read these I felt sickened with myself.

Who am I to dictate who does what on their blog when I didn't create my eyes, hands or brain, without which I could do nothing let alone make some outfit on Polyvore and then complain because my pride can't handle that somebody else is taking credit for it? 

I forgot that my goal in writing this blog was for Allah (SWT) and to better myself as a Muslim, not to inflate my ego.

I am sorry that I tried to stir up fitnah just to get my own back on somebody who had damaged my pride.

I get why there is such reward for controlling oneself in an argument. The more I live the more I seem to realise how much of a slave I am to my own weaknesses and that when it comes down to the important things in life, I know next to nothing.

I am sorry to have wasted your time and my blog space - which could have been filled with something positive and pleasing to Allah (SWT) - on useless gossip.