I have had many discussions with Muslims about whether or not having a crush is haram, and have heard all sorts of opinions. But I think we can safely say that it is not haram since you have little control over your feelings; what you do about it on the other hand, may well be...
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Abu Hurayah reported that Allah's Messenger (S) said:.
"A son of Adam's share of zina has been predestined for him, and he will inevitably fulfill that. Thus the eyes commit zina by looking, the ears commit zina by listening, the tongue commits zina by speaking, the mouth commits zina by talking/kissing, the hands commits zina by acting (or touching) the foot commits zina by walking (toward the sin) the soul wishes and desires and the private part confirms all of that"
[Bukhari and Muslim]
According to this hadith, zina, to some extent is inevitable for man. Islam has told us that the best way to control zina of the heart is to lower the gaze.. prevention being better than cure and all that..
"Tell the believing men to lower their gaze (from looking at forbidden things), and protect their private parts (from illegal sexual acts, etc.). That is purer for them. Verily, Allah is All-Aware of what they do.
And tell the believing women to lower their gaze (from looking at forbidden things), and protect their private parts (from illegal sexual acts, etc).
[Qur'aan, 24: 30-31]
Simple problem, simple solution. But who really does it?
12 comments:
Thank you for sharing this sister. If there was a "like" button for this story I would press it!!!
Salaam
im really sorry but that really disturbs me., the part that says lower your gaze. in every verse i have to hear the phrase 'lower your gaze'. if we lower our gaze then what would we see in life, i would perfer to be blind then having to low my neck until it cracks. plzz, i need a good explaination to that.
-salam
Random: Lowering the gaze is only talking about in one verse. I know what you mean but it is referring to lowering a "lustful" gaze as opposed to any gaze.
Salam x
Zina is such a problem in univerisity, I see it happening left, right and centre!
Best thing to do is keep your contact with the opposite sex limited to what is necessary.
With my friends personally, I've seen things go wrong when they innocently make friends with a guy....and then it all goes wrong.
Roseofreality: Ah that is so true!! I guess that opens the question of where should the line be drawn in terms of friendships with members of the opposite sex. It's a complicated one :/
Salam x
ok thanx alot. is it ok to have a friend whose a boy but u like as a brother and sister way? you know wat i mean a boy friend but just a friend
-ME
You'd get different answers depending I who you ask that question but I personally believe that intention is key and I don't see a problem with boys and girls talking to each other. I used to be quite unrelenting in my belief thy boys and girls should not be friends at all but I have come to the conclusion that that sort of thinking is what drives people away from the deen altogether.
Salam x
Thank you and there's this other thing. Do you know when lots of families are together they have to separate the men from the women? The men sit near the air conditioner whilst the women sit in a small kitchen and the man keeps on croaking to his wife to make tea or what ever. I really want to understand, are women servants animals or what? And you know when it says in the Quran to not beat children but allows the being of women? That's the most disturbing thing. I'm not sayin that the Quran is wrong but this is making me hate Islam.
Pls explain how it drives people away from the deen.
-Imran
Anon: The first thing you mention is culture so has nothing to do with Islam. May I ask where you are from?
With regards to wife beating, please refer to my post 'There is no such thing as wife beating in Islam' by searching it in the search box.
Imran: Any sort of extreme in anything (especially to do with religion) usually drives people in the complete opposite direction.
Salam
My ustaz once said that remembering someone or missing somebody isn't included in 'zina of the heart'. A girl missing a boy from her class is not haram. But if the girl imagines them doing sex, that is 'zina of the heart'. Zina itself is the doing of sex without a husband and wife relationship.
Imran: Why write it if you're going to ask me to delete it weeks later? Yes I'll remove you're blog that's fine but I would not have put it up in the first place if you hadn't asked me to go look at it.
I really think it's best if you stop coming onto this blog and if you do please don't comment in future because I won't be deleting (or not posting on your request) any more of your comments in future.
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